Rachael Ray is incredibly popular. She has her own shows, her own books, magazines, cookware, theme song, etc. She's a fucking hero in cook-land. She is the epitome of middle-america-super-market-stay-at-home moms who can't do anything but sit around in their pajamas and think about taking the kids out in their 800 dollar stroller maybe to the library or to dad's work to see if he is actually AT work. But then their fat friend calls and the decide to get the kids together to see which one is smarter and then MAYBE they do some baby yoga, if they are feeling extra fat that day. But then their OTHER mom friend comes over and they decide to all sit down and watch Rachael Ray instead because she is doing makeovers and then cooking "Messy Giuseppe", which is just like a nasty ass sloppy joe with a dumb cutesy name.
Rachael Ray has the dumbest cutesy names for everything: "EVOO, BLD meal, Stoop, BRUTUS salad (instead of caesar)"...
...and don't GET ME STARTED on "SAMMY"!!!! It's not a fucking "Sammy" you stupid bitch!! It's a god damn sandwich. We aren't 3 years old and we aren't amused. Stop fucking throwing salt all over the place and stop smiling and acting like you are nice. It's okay to be a bitch sometimes, Rachael!! GROW UP.
Oh and here's another one: "Not-sagna"....god shut up already and go back to college! I wish I could sick Gordon Ramsey on her.
Seriously though, STOP throwing all that salt. For one thing, it's not cute. Some dude has to clean that up later. FUCK YOU RACHAEL RAY. if I ever see you I'm going to grind up your bones and use YOU in a bottom of the jar recipe!! You are going to need more than luck if you come into my house throwin salt all over MY floor!! I'll be throwing YOU over my shoulder and making YOU clean it up with your tongue!! And then sanitizing, because, ew.
This beezy was in Maxim one time too:
Ok. We ALL know that Maxim doesn't shy when it comes to photoshop. But REALLY, Maxim? REALLY, Rachael??? Who are you trying to fool?? Everyone knows you are way fatter than that.
And with all the photoshopping going on in this picture, you'd think they'd fix her tits up a bit. Gross dude. But really, does ANYONE really want pie after seeing that? BARF!
You are not cute. You waste salt. You make dumb recipes. You ruin stay-at-home moms' lives. Fuck you, Rachael Ray.
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